Sunday, July 12, 2009
Introduction:
"This poem was written in 1908 by Minnie Louise Haskins, an American
lecturer at the London School of Economics, who wrote as a hobby. It
was a favourite of Queen Elizabeth the late Queen Mother, who showed
it to her husband King George VI. He included it in his famous
Christmas message broadcast in 1939 at the beginning of the Second
World War. After the King's death the Queen Mother had it engraved on
bronze plaques on the entrance to the King George VI Memorial Chapel,
Windsor, where both are now interred. It was also read at the funeral
service of the Queen Mother.
:-:-:-:-:-:
I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year
'Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.'
And he replied, 'Go into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God
That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way!'
So I went forth and finding the Hand of God
Trod gladly into the night
He led me towards the hills
And the breaking of day in the lone east.
So heart be still!
What need our human life to know
If God hath comprehension?
In all the dizzy strife of things
Both high and low,
God hideth his intention."
Innocence
9:05 PM
Friday, May 22, 2009
Tears for fears - Mad World (Resung by Adam Lambert at American Idol 8)All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Goin' nowhere, goin' nowhere
Their tears are fillin' up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dyin'
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad world, mad world
Mad world, mad world
Children waitin' for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sits and listen, sits and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson?
Look right through me, look right through me
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dyin'
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad world, mad world
Mad world, mad world
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dyin'
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad world, mad world
Mad world, mad world
A raunchy young world
Mad world
Innocence
2:22 PM
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Let's talk about social commentaries. I was too bored (vacation baby) and decided I shall soak myself in some American Idol madness. Okay not very mad, it you don't count the fact that Adam Lambert's version of Mad World was ringing in my head and I purged it with Kris Allen's Heartless. And now it's Heartless playing.
Okay I see blank faces.
You see the issue was that Adam Lambert was the hot favourite and Kris was the boy next door and the boy next door won the glam rocker in American Idol. I was actually not shocked at all, I kinda saw it coming after watching a few more youtube videos of Adam and Kris and now thinking back, I am actually surprised that Adam got this far (although I absoultely love him by the way) Here's my reasoning:
He wasn;t mainstream enough. He is obviously not the R&B/Hiphop/Rap type. He is a rocker. But not soft rock, crowd pleasin soft rock but rather LOUD METALLIC rock. Or perhaps alternative. He is NOT poppy at all. And I was surprised that they actually let him go this far. Perhaps it's his cute looks or how he staged his performance - I enjoyed all his performances. They were really entertaining. Perhaps the girls thought he was cute. But point being, Lambert is not mainstream - at all. He is not an American Idol but he is a star in his own right.
Now, I said earlier I wasn't shocked that Kris won right and here's why. First, Kris is mainstream. He is crowd friendly. He is someone I foresee hearing on the radio. The name Jason Mraz keeps popping up in my head, I wonder why. I love it when he is on his guitars and piano. He will take poppy melodious songs very very well. Moreover, I felt that voting for him with a combination of anti adam votes and kris fans votes. Let me explain. Adam's fanbase is CRAZY. They loved him. And Adam gets all the hype in the media. So there is this group of people who don't like him for whatever reasons and they decided that he shouldn't win and thus voted for Kris. There is another group of people, who are basically supporters of other contestants (Danny's fans perhaps) ans supported Kris. Honestly, Kris is more "centralist" (for lack of a better word) and his musical style is closerto many other contestants (Danny) who thus will be able to accept him better. On the other hand, Adam's fanbase is there already. It's an amazingly big fanbase - bigger than Kris but Kris wins really because i think almost all the fence sitters went to Kris.
I got to make a disclaimer here. That doesn't mean I don't like Kris. Kris has a way of connecting with me and everytime he carries that guitar on his back and smiles? I melt. But point being, Kris didn't really win because he had tons of die hard fans (he had a substantial amount but not as much as Adam) but because people didn't like Adam Lambert (okay. didn't like's too strong. They prefer more a mainstream style).It seems to happen all the time in American Idol. Someone got to pick up the votes of those who were sent home and the centralist takes all. SO unless one of the two finalist is SOOOO popular that even if all the fence sitting votes for the other, he will still win. If that is so, that guy must be a superstar. Adam came close, very close.
And on hindsight, I was VERY glad Adam didn't win. Can you imagine what type of album they would make Adam made as the "winner of american idol". And that is NOT him at all. I see him in an alternative genre, mixing and matching, screaming and jumping. Not ver idol yea? So in a sense, by being released from the crown of the American idol he doesn't need to sing crap. Someone PLEASE get good song writers for Adam and I am awaiting a stunning album from him.
I would want to get Kris's album and play it while I am chilling. Like last year's battle of the 2 davids? I think Kris needs to win more than Adam. Adam will do well whether he wins or not. And perhaps better if he didn't. Kris needs that additional boost. Moreover, Kris is the type of American Idol that the show advocates. Think like Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood. A star from the masses. So in a sense, Kris embodies the whole of the Idol contest pretty well. And one last thing, No Boundaries is a better song for Kris anyway. I felt WEIRD when Adam sang it. VERY VERY weird. It was one of those neither here or there song and Adam can't really do his thing with it.
Then again, the song is crap la. I pity Kris for having to sing it for his first single. Don't even get me started man. Everyone hates the song and so do I. It ruined the final 2 performances I swear.
I want more of Allison-Adam. They are great together. Slow ride is one of my fave performance. They both can really rock the house down.
Allow me to venture another point. I think while the AI people clearly would like Adam to win, I think their way of arranging the finals was a sure way to ensure Adam WON'T win. Firstly, Adam's performances were all impresssive throughout the season. SO by asking him to re perform something is just a bad idea and Adam who is really famous for being creative, would lose out compared to Kris who is someone who gets progressively better and thus when he re sings any song it would be better. People who watched Adam would be like, oh, nice, good performance. But expected. The second song was good for both Adam and Kris. The final song was KILLERLY BAD. It was again, a Kris song more than an Adam song and again, many people who watch only the finals would be inclined to think Kris is better because Lambert doesn't get to show off. If you asked me, the first song should be a contestant choice instead of a recap from the previous. I really want to see Kris tear down a few more song (like what he did for heartless) and a few more outlandish performances for Adam.
So in a sense, I don't know, I cannot decide whether I like Adam or Kris more. Kris melts me in a certain way that I cannot really describe while Adam speaks of creativty, possiblity and rock. So it's really like the two sides of me being satisifed in one show. Not too bad for reality tv
Anyway, so, congrats Kris. I await your album. Adam, stun me again would you =)
Innocence
10:18 AM
Monday, May 11, 2009
I was reading Timothy Keller's The Reason for God. It was a pretty good book although I am already acquainted with some of the things he talked about. But the chapter on the Clues of God changed my perspective on generally the proving of God altogether. Subconciously I always felt that although not everything about God can be proven, but the evidence I have on my hands were soild proof to certain foundations of Christianity. But I appreciated Keller's insight upon this. Paraphased, what he was trying to drive at was that the there was a way to disprove everything that Christians claim to prove if we are looking at a airtight proof. Take for example, the argument about how everything in the universe were precisely calculated to sustain life meant that there must god. A skeptic could easily argue that well you can't prove or disprove Christianity with that piece of evidence. It could be an intelligent creator, it could be chance. Even if there was an intelligent creator it might not be the God of the bible either. So in a sense, the evidence kind of does nothing. And if you really run through many of the arguments for Christianity, it kind of appears that way too.
The question is, then how?
Keller proposes something called critical rationality in which he recongises that the dilemna as mentioned above exists. But one cannot deny that all these evidence gives one a CLUE that God exists. And following on that train of thought, he wrote that, at the end of the day things makes more sense when you put on the lenses of Christianity in light of the evidence than everything else (he went on to talk about how evolutionary naturalism and all fails in light of seeing everything as a concrete whole).
What I really liked about this section of the book is that, Keller admits that there is NO airtight proof of God per say. Which makes sense right, isn't it? If God is the ultimate playwright of our lives, then how are we going to find it? It's something like, using CS Lewis' example, how can Hamlet try to find Shakespeare in his attic? But what we do have on our hands are thus clues to the existence of this God. And the combination of these clues would be a very formidable force.
May I add something at the same time? I think the issue at hand is that, we are all flawed human beings. If that is so, then our thinking must be flawed isn't it? Therefore, although God gave us the gift of reason, if our fundemental nature is flawed, doesn;t it mean that there is also a possiblity that some of our rationalisations about things are wrong as well?
This, alongside the fact that evidence/arguements can be easily disputed, serves as a warning to myself as well that we must always listen to people who we try to talk to them about Christianity and beware of falling into the self righteous trap as well by sounding like a intellectual idiot by forcefully tweaking science and knowledge into Christianity when it really does not fit. We have got to listen and give others the credit of their arguments before we tear them down, in love.
Innocence
8:36 PM
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
You notice weird things about yourself during the exam periods.
1. I like being around people. But they drain my energy badly. I thought I was still quite alive about my mega 5 hour consultation but on my way home I was literally stand sleeping. That was how tired I was.
2. I eat when I am tired
3. I don't eat when I am stressed
4. When I am stressed and tired, the stress bit takes over so I don't eat
5. Talking to people on MSN is a good motivation when I study although if I sit with th person I might end up talking too much
6. Fanfics and cute guys (kanda) are good for destressing
7. Good friends are hard to find. But I am glad for them in their weird way of supporting me
8. I value my personal space a lot. And it includes my house.
9. I don't like small spaces that much when I study. When I study i demand a huge desk, fan/aircon and music.
Innocence
10:55 PM
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
I never knew Singapore was so deeply entrenched in my heart until when I did my Singapore Foreign Policy Paper. I have subconciously wrote Singapore as us, we, ours etc instead of the netural her that is appropriate for an academic paper
True blue Singaporean indeed (Or should I say true red and white?)
Innocence
11:21 PM
I was supposed to be doing my DJ. But this scene just stuck inside my head.
-
I was on the bus as it drove in NUS and there I saw, dead leaves just drifting down as though it was fall in summer. The bus moved closer to my destinated bus stop and there I saw, yellow flowers littering the floor.
The image stuck in my head for a long long time. What a beauty.
Innocence
9:06 AM
Sunday, March 22, 2009
It is always apt to reflect on life once in a while right. But since this is a public blog I would keep some of the details away.
I think the year started with me being very very happy to be in FASS. I was literally savouring my readings like holy scriptures. I loved my classes with the exception of 1 which I never understood why I still attended it and another which I have some problems grasping some concepts. But school's all well.
It was against this setting that I slowly evolved. I blame it on the recuepration of a failed relationship but ever since school started, I found myself going home more often and out less often. I reserve my fri-sunday for church related activities but that's about all. I begin to talk to the old friends of mine online, ask them out for lunch, suddenly beginning to understand the true meaning of friendship. But slowly, I beginning asking myself, what's my purpose in life. I mean, I am a Christian alright, but it was beginning to seem like I was a fri-sun Christian rather than a full time Christian. Something was fundementally missing and I begin to embrace the art of being the salt and light of the world. Contrary to what I thought, what I am supposed to do in school is to show that Christ lives and is alive. That doesn't mean that I go around evangelising (though evangelism is a critical component) but rather, I show God's love to them in whatever ways I can. I became more intentional in blessing and talking. I became more conscious of what I say and do, because it begin sinking really deep into me that, people don't care about big theories of Christianity as much as the behaviour of Christians. Even if I don't end up leading a person to Christ, I sure don't want to end up leading a person AWAY from Christ.
And it's not easy. University is probably a place of test for me. I meet all forms of people. I met highly irresponsible people withinm school that I had to consciously stop gossiping about them. There are also people who seems to skip classes like nobody's business and I know I had to honour God. And the list goes on. And I realized the key challenge now is really to maintain God's beacon of light in the midst of all these. And through this I learn to depend on God. I probably made more mistakes than ever, said the wrong things as ever. But I know, it's through these mistakes that I would learn.
I am slowly able to see how God is trying to use me. Allow some boasting here (in any case if I boast,I boast in Him). I have two-three commenst from people asking me things like how come I so different or something to that extent. I know instinctively that people are looking at me and I look to God, and honestly, I am scared. I am a Peter. God places these people in front of me, what if I fail at what I am supposed to do? But I realized, it is also this fear that drew me closer to God.
I also learnt the meaning of it's a honour to serve God and that God qualified those He called. Sometimes subconciously we think we are better than God, that God NEEDS us to serve Him but slowly, upon recongition of my own weaknesses, I realized, I really don't deserve to serve Him at all. But He still uses me. Then instinctively I know, this is the grace of God. Never have I encountered Grace so vividly before.
School aside, there were also a lot of other lessons I learnt. I will start with a short one about prioties. I commented to a friend one day that "No time" is a crappy excuse and I sincerely believe so. It's a matter of what's important to you. Take a very simple example, I have time to go on facebook but I have no time to pray. That's utter nonsense! I rather be honest to say that facebook is more tempting than prayer for various reasons to me than to brush it apart with no time. But yes, the issue at hand is prioties. What is important in my life? And I work from there.
Another lesson would be that of perservence. Well contrary to many people's perceptions, I didn't come to Covenant and immediately became accepted into the community. It takes time, effort and a lot of perservence. For me it took almost a year. It was only at the dawn of this year that slowly I felt completely in the community. And I realized, that a lot of people lack this perservance to push on. CG wasn't the easiest to break through. I mean everyone knew everyone and I am like NEW. Bonds don't take 1 session to make. They take many many sessions. There were times where I felt so ousted when everyone in my CG had things to do and I was completely left alone. So many times I find myself sitting at a corner and wondering why on earth was I here in the first place. But perservance paid off. Slowly bonds begin to build, slowly I begin to interact more, slowly I begin to serve, slowly. And it took a year. A painful year given the fact that a lot of things happened in 2008. But I thank God it's over, that I found friends that I can slowly confide in within church and with IDT it comes another group of friends/sisters that I can open up to too. God is good. God is faithful.
I am beginning to be more rested in God. I used to be someone who likes being busy. It's like what Pastors had said, busy somehow is the new cool. The more busy you are means you have either more friends or more important or something. So I intentionally do 101 things to make myself look more busy. But no, I learnt, it's not the point at all. I need the rest, the time out to slowly remind myself what's important and what's not, i need the break to find the idenity (with God). When work gets over my head all the time, I lose God. And back to the prioties bit, if God is important, if my relationship with God is important, then I will give time to it. And that is one of the key reasons why I am not as active in school. I need the free time to rest.
I remembered back in JC, I was told that Christianity is not all about emotions. Even if God cannot be felt, it doesn't mean that He doesn't exist. Well I understood the point but somehow it went to the back of my head. It is until now, when I look back at my last year and I look at myself now that this point resurfaced. Perhaps it was IDT and CG that is strengthening my faith, perhaps it's the books I read, perhaps it's that I am growing old, but really, God exists period. I don't need the tingly feeling (sociogists call it the collective consciousness) during worship to know that God is the Lord of all and loves me and takes care of me.
I think I will close off this by no means complete reflection on the point of intentionality. Yes I am in intentional discipleship training but that is not the point. A christian life is an intentional life and the reason is simple, we are all fallen creatures, if we allow ourselves to do whatever our hearts want us to do, we will be a proper Christian or human being for that matter. I learnt experientially that, a lot of things need to be intentional. I need to intentionally do my journalling and to analyse the passage to learn more about God and to strengthen my faith, I need to intentionally connect with people so that I can share Christ to them, I need to intentionally build relationships and not expect a r/s to fall from the sky and the list continues. But intentionally doing a lot of things I never would do, I found joys and lessons at the most unexpected places. By intentionally talking to my mum, I found out how alike we really are. By intentionally hooking up with some old friends, I learnt how friendships can be lasting. And I learnt really,that no matter how intentional I get, I am never good enough to fit God's standard. But God says I am good enough because His grace is sufficient for me.
And I praise Him.
Innocence
11:34 PM
