Friday, April 25, 2008
111! What a nice number.
Anyway, Jessie watched Honey and Clover the Japanese version. I am praying so darned hard that the Taiwan version don't spoil the essence of it coz it rocks. Started off pretty TYPICAL, A loves B, B loves C etc.. with the backdrop of an Art University. But if you managed to survive the first few episodes, the rest rock. When you end at epi 11 (at least for me), you realized it's a story about friendship, about learning to give up and move on more than a LOVE story. And I guessed that's why I loved it. I am really hoping (I think I said that already just now) that the Taiwan version doesn't change it into a boring old love story. Anyway, I will be quote collecting from the drama =) Why, the manga seems to be interesting to read now =)
Oh, and I felt the drama was well plotted. I don't know whether I'm the only one that feels that way but you just know it =)
--
I am stealing them from a site. I think I will just buy the manga or something and then chew on it. LOL.
No one can ever replace someone else – Aida Kazu
When Takemoto's stepfather talks about Takemoto's real father. For erasing of memories is never possible.
I was told no by Mayama, but I can’t just suddenly dislike him. With complex feelings like this, just because you don’t end up going out doesn’t mean it just automatically goes away – Yamada
I just wanted to say, it was an apt.. description. Coz I've been through that before. You will still love even if you are rejected.
You choose to give up or make an effort. There are only these two choices for humans to choose from. You have to honestly tell them your feelings. The rest is up to them. To make an effort, or to give up would then be their choice. It was the same for you. It’s the same for everyone. – Shu-chan to Yamada
I told a lie to Yamada. There are actually three choices. But if you believe that there are only two, you can open pathways so I won’t say the third answer – Shu-chan
But I realized why I was lost. Its not because I don’t have a map. Its because I don’t have a destination. – Takemoto
If I really liked him I should hope for his happiness. But like you said in the car, I actually hoped they would break up. – Yamada
To cry because there is something you want to do and to cry because you can’t find it. Which is more painful? The only thing I can say is even with all the words I have now, I can’t stop her tears – takemoto
--
Anyway, my absolute fave is this one, the one in the ending which summarises the whole plot:
Spring,in the previous two years
We met in amazing colour
I felt happiness just to stay beside her
But I felt frustrated at myself for not appreciating chances
I thought I couldn't make it becoz I didn't chase after her
I hated that I could only watch beside her
Hagumi's gentle note gave me new hope
Hagumi's toughness gave me encouragement
I always thought
Perhaps love that passed through many difficulties would be meaningful
But I understand now
The meaningful thing is that I met Hagumi
That was why I became who I am now
As time goes by
Everything would be forgotten
But I will remember
The time we shared
And it can't be replaced
I can face this feeling with pride now
It was good to fall in love with you
--
Happy Jessie.
Innocence
3:32 AM
Sunday, April 06, 2008
Apr 6
I realized something about old testaments. They like to repeat themselves a lot. I think it's fro emphasis sake and that, somethings, like God's promises are deserving to be uttered over and ovrer again to forgetful people like us.
Well so Mr Moses today recounted some of the promises and the blessings and judgment for those who follow and do not follow th law. What caught me today was part of the bold verse today.
"Therefore CHOOSE life" (emphasis mine)
That reminded me of something that I learnt from Him before. It's a choice to believe in Him because God had given us the gift of free will. There is not such thing as we are born into the religion. We need to choose Him. He doesn't come to us like THAT. We need to ask Him to come and we need to choose for Him to come. And yes, choose life. Funny how people deny Him and claim to be in search of a better form of life when He is life thriugh and through, the beginning and the end, the alpha and the omega, the first and the last.
--
Luke. There is 2 parts about Luke today. Firstly is what I coined as "wrong Christian" behaviour. Jesus was seen condemning the Pharisees and the lawyers and there are a few things I would list here, hopefully as well as an apt reminder of what I shouldn't become.
1. Tithing yet blind to justice.
Pretty self explanatory. W can give money to church and when people around us are accused we sit there and "shake leg". When the world is in need of someone to shine for them, we can deny Him. Question. What is more important? Tithing or Justice? My answer? Neither.
Love is more important.
2. Pride
Well that one is a hard trap NOT to fall in. I mean once we are in a certain Christianity stature, we get respected and we somehow has authority. People actually listen to our opinions and work on our opinions. And this feeling of superiority can seriously get into our head. And we end up working not because of love but because of that feeling of superioity that it gives us.
3. Unmarked graves
I am too lazy to check the study bible for this but it seems to be some form of a reference to the "Christian identity". Who are we? We are God's people and I wouldn't want to be walked past like an unmarked grave, I want to be known. Not by my name but by His name. If people walk past me (ie interact with me) they don't feel God radiating from me, something is wrong.
4. Loading people with burdens without putting a finger to them.
Ah. That one is new but good. We can go around "mobilization" people to run for Christ etc etc. And then we don't share the burden.That sounded pretty much like a boss sitting on the desk and bossing people around. Nay Nay behaviour.'
M That's for now. And 2 more apt reminders, I don't think any explanations of sorts is needed but apt apt reminders.
"Nothing is covered up that will not be revealed or hidden that would not be known"
"Fear Him, who after He has killed has authority to cast into hell"
Well as a side note, this is a good reminder to us on why we shouldn't be scared of other people. Well they can kill us abuse us, but they can't send us to hell. What they can merely do is inflict physical pain on us or perhaps emotion but they can't separate us from the love of God, neither can they throw us into eternal anguish.
"Yes I tell you, fear him! Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs on your head are all numbered. Fear not, you are of more value than many sparrows"
--
Extra,Bought the Hillsong United newest Cd (rocks)
Bought acoustic lvoe song s CD (gonna listen. Had to listen to Christian songs while doing bible reading .HEH)
Needs to go back to my Cranes. I am working on the characterizations.
Muackz.
--
Innocence
8:53 PM
Saturday, April 05, 2008
Apr 5 (I will deal with Apr3-4 maybe later or another day)
Deuteronomy changed its perspective from a list of laws to what happened if you followed and if you do not follow the law that was given. Well, in short, if you follow the law, you are blessed while if you don't, you would be cursed. Two things striking though, I realize that there is a series of repetitions in the curses and blessings. Take for example, it said that The "They (the enemies) will come against you one way and flee before you in seven days" as a blessing from obeying the Lord. In a later verse when the Lord talks about the curses, this was what was written " You shall go out in one way against them and flee seven ways before them". See the nice contrast? And this is on the the only example, the whole passage from Deuteronomy is littered with this literacy form. With that, plus the long list of curses which would befall if the people don't obey the law, gave me shudders. I must admit this God of the old covenant is a just God but a scary one nonetheless. Pages of JUDGMENT. My gosh. Freaks me out. But that brights me to a new question, how is that applicable to my life? I do know that after Jesus, we do have a new covenant in Christ, so does that mean I can ignore the commandments? (Sounds weird to me) But if I were follow these commandments word for word, wouldn't that be the onset of legalism? And if I shouldn't follow the commandments, then why is it in even in the bible? What are the lessons am I supposed to draw from them?
Aye aye. Questions questions. I think I like the New Testament more =)
Luke had been a constant source of insight for me (yay). Today I started off with Demonology 101. Two things I learnt after Satan today, A) If Jesus was from the devils, He wouldn't be casting out demons. That would show a sign of disunity which did not make sense. Well, I guess for me (and us), I think we should view this in a broader perspective, taking the overall meaning and not just that literal meaning. I mean after reading a couple of books on demons and all, I think Satan is pretty sly and I won't be surprised if he did get some of his demons to cast off fellow demons just for the sake of showcase and misleading people. But I think what Jesus really means is that, Satan and his legion of fallen angels would be united in the aim to destroy the work of the Lord. They do not sway from the aim. That, I believe leads to the 2nd pt, a more hidden pt that Jesus was intending to make and that's the unity of the Kingdom of Christ. So many people were accusing Jesus of being a devil or asking for signs from heaven,. Di do believe that Jesus was also using the devil's kingdom as an example to hold it in sharp contrast with the scattered Kingdom of Christ. So in other words, it's Jesus's call for unity to the people against the united kingdom if the devil. He used a parable to illustrate the point. You can be a strong man who was able to guard the storehouse but when a stronger man overcomes you, you are dead. I think Jesus was trying to illustrate the power of unity here.
Well I shall skip a little of the middle and go on, since we are talking about me and demonology 101. Well Jesus said that when an unclean spirit has gone out of a person it would try to seek shelter but when he can't, he would bring 7 other spirits more evil than itself and they enter and dwell there making the later stat of the person worse that the first. I am intrigued by how Jesus did not gave us a answer to this "problem" (okay maybe he did in other chapters. I am not sure) but instead left is hanging as that. That got me thinking. So what was Jesus trying to say here? My take is that, we cast out the devils in our lives (well, I still don't have a very clear def of who who's in demon world and what are demon caused and what are not, but anyway). For example, lust. We can cast them out, maybe ask professionals, or maybe pray it out or something. But if we stop there and don't do anything about it, they are going to attack us again and make it worse. Well, indeed, devils are only infiltrate us when we have so called holes/patches in our lives. So even if we cast away the devil, the whole is still there and it's an open invitation for other or more devils to fill it. And the solution of sealing this hole so that the devil will never come in? God. Because God is sufficient and God is complete. This basically means that devil can infiltrate us when we are not completely surrendered, walking well with God. Becoz only when our walk with God is lacking will there then be holes that the devil can move in. I don't think anyone can be so perfect as to have such a complete walk with God that there are no holes fro the devil to sip through but I feel that what is essential is that, once we found a problem, got the devil chased out, we should go back to God and renew a proper walk with Him so that He can patch our holes. If not, the consequences is deadly.
Moving on (oops, this post is pretty long already),
"Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters."
This one is pretty understandable. God is the centre, God is the focus. IF we do not put our lives with his as the centre, all else fails. If we do not come to together with Him as the aim, our group will always split. This talks about God being the centre of all things and HAVE to be the center before everything else works out.
The verse that was highlighted today is rather interesting.
"As He said these tings, a woman in the crowd raised her voices and said to him, "Blessed the the womb that bore you, and the breasts at which you nursed! But he said, "Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it!"
I had to take a break (to eat a biscuit. Marks & Spencer Dark Choc digestive rocks) to consult my study bible. It said that the line meant that indeed Mary was blessed (very blessed indeed) but obedient followers of Christ are "more" blessed. It seemed to be opening an invitation for all of us to be blessed. You see ther can only be ONE Mary and Mary was God-anointed. Then what about us? If blessings is counted by how big a thing we can do on Earth, then we would pretty sad. Coz there can only be ONE Mary, one John Wesley, one Martin Luther. But I think Jesus is opening an invitation to us saying, we would be bless after keeping the word of God after hearing it. Now that's some consolation =)
And I noticed as well of the word, HEAR THE WORD. Which kind of banishes all those pre believers who had never hear the gospel. That's apologetics 101 I guess. If they have heard the gospel, God would not judge them on the same basis as believers. And we all know He is a righteous judge so He will def do it well. =) I think God would instead punish the believers that He had called to share the gospel but have not. Because we are the ones depriving our friends about the goodness of Him.
The sign of Jonah. The previous time God sort of judgment thing ws said to the crowds bore reference to Sodom which was the city the God destroyed in Genesis (LOT and his wife! Salt pillars? Moses bargaining with God? Yep. That Sodom) and now we have Jonah. Jonah was the one who brought the warning of the judgment of God to Nineveh (yes and was in a whale's body for 3 days 3 nights but I think that's pretty much beside the point) I think Jesus was using a familiar biblical story to illustrate to them who He is and what He was for. He also wished to highlight what was the state of the people. They were like Nineveh part 2. (Sounds like us) and Jesus, who is greater than Jonah, had came to warn us and more than that, die for us. And the job for us(them) was simply to REPENT (like the Ninvehans). I guess Jesus was appalled as how unrepentant th epeople were. The Ninevan upon hearing the judgment of God put on sackcloths and MOURNED. But when He looked around, the contrary seemed to be true. people asking what right He had, asked Him to prove Himself yada yada. Nothing like Nineveh.
The last bit of Luke (I love the gospels) for today. The lamp on the stand parable. More than familar but def an apt reminder. We are the light of the world and if we are the light of the world, we don't hide at home (put in the cellar) or hide under other aliases (under a basket) but to stand and shine for everyone to see. A timely reminder that we as Christians were to walk in His loght, shine for the world that is so dark. (Wars wars wars. fight fight fight. corruption X 100) What doctrinal things, what theology, I think they are second when compared to A) Loving God and B) Shining for the world.
And that it ends off with something on lines of if one part of your body is dark, your whole body is dark, I feel that this had a slight connoation to having evil in our lives. There is no such thing, this is just a little sin (darkness in the eyes only). We still have 90% light so it's okay. I think Jesus makes it clear that a bit = everything.
I consulted my dearest study bible again and came back with a slightly new insight about Him. Well apparently according to the SB, the reason why Jesus said that whole lamp of the body thing was trying to illustrate to the people who kept asking Him for signs that He already showed everthing (He was the light on the stand) but the problem was with the eyes of the people (hence the darkness in eyes) that could not witness it. Pretty true as well, if we choose to be blind, OF COZ we can't see the light. Then it isn't really Jesus's fault right? That also links up with some of my "counselling experience" as well. You see, people come to me and they say, Oh I don't see God. I think he is in in some faraway land and does not care about me. Perhaps, the problem is not with God not showing Himself but with the people not SEEING Him. Since they can't see His light so what happens was that they felt their whole body is in darkness.
M. Interesting. Psalms now.
Psalms are always something that comforts my soul. It's like a nice reminder of the character of God and who He really is in a few words.
"Will the Lord spurn forever, and never again be favourable?
Has his steadfast love forever ceased?
Are his promises at an end for all times?
Has God forgotten the gracious?
Has he in anger shut up his compassion?"
A series of negative questions but my heart warmed when I know that answer to all of them is No. He was everlasting, He is everlasting and He will be everlasting, When He said He never will break His promises, he never will. And if His steadfast love, promises, grace and compassion still prevailed, why are we afraid? Isn't that more than enough?
And then the Psalmist went on a little historical journey, describing Moses and Aaron's exodus.
"When the water saw you, they were afraid,"
If God is with us, who can be against us? Even the uncontrollable waters (a reference to the Red Sea) is afraid of Him, and HE is helping us, it's more like victory 101 xD And if you read on, the imagery is just puurfect. "You arrows flashed on every side" Lightning. Lighting are His arrows to help us fend of our enemies.
And to end of today's piece,
"Yet your footstep was unseen"
Two things. First, sheesh, He can already caused so much things if He is unseen, then what would happen if He descended on Earth. I don't want to imagine. Second. He works in ways we cannot see, But the only reassurance we get is, He works for us. And that is more than enough.
--
BB enrolment today. Not going. Have been busy. Wishes to be an introvert and stay at home (and perhaps write)
Today's entry is LONG. FINGERS HURT. i should learn to stop banging on my keyboard when I type. Got 2 more tuition assignments in the week (MORE MONEY!) and so less time for myself as well. But anyway God comes first.
A short little life lesson I learnt from yesterday. Trust Him. Woke up yesterday, got panicky coz I didn't know where my tuitions were. Then panic somemore coz street directory wasn't listening to me. And decided to skip typing my devotions yesterday (BIG MISTAKE).
And guess what, I think the lagging was God's way of telling me to SEEK HIM first.
And yes, everything turned out right at the end. Imagine if I had done my devotions? It woukd have used uo the same time with me panicking.
I actually have some thoughts about tuitioning and kids and people in general. YThat would have to wait. My fingers are ACHING. So till then =)
There's church tomorrow morning. And then tuition so maybe I can only do my devotions at night, or before i go church. Someone remind me =)
=)
Innocence
1:49 PM
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Better write before I get on MSN on the net. Distraction has been prevalent.
--
Apr 1
Let me so a brief one on Apr 1, ie Yesterday's passage. While the Deutronomy passsage has been really boring and non inspiring, the gospel had been shedding new insights for me everday. The Luke passage touched on The Transfiguration and I found out some very amazing facts from my study bible.
Apparently, Elisha (Elijah's successor)'s name means JOSHUA. Jesus's hebrew name is Joshua as well. So yes, we can see that Moses passed his unfinished work to Joshua, Elijah to Elisha and finally the both came down to ask Jesus to finish the final unfinished work. And that is precisely why when Jesus was on the cross He said, "It is finished" The Transfiguration is like an, official handover ceremony to Jesus and even God Himself graced the occasion. It had to be significant, for the other time that God Himself appeared was during Jesus' baptism.
So, now I know, the transfiguration was not just a WOW event. I mean, come on, it DOES look spectacular. But it had a lot of meaning to it and by understanding this particular event, I begin to realize how wrong people said that Jesus was just a good moral teacher. This incident portrayed clearly that Jesus was here to finish the work that Moses and Elijah have not and that was the redemption of mankind.
THAT was Jesus's purpose. To redeem sinners like you and I. Not any other nonsense like being a good teacher, or be a judge etc etc.
--
Apr 2
Today's reading. I will just jump straight to the Luke chapter. Though I am amazed by how detailed God's law in Deutronomy is. It's so detailed. God really pays attention to ALL the details.
Luke today addresses the issue of "How to follow Jesus". "Foxes have holes, birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head". If you ask me, this sounds pretty sad. I mean how can the Son of Man have nowhere to lay his head, but I guess, it's an apt descrrption of the follower of Christ. Who ever said the follower of Christ have to leave in luxury. I think if we want humanly luxury we shouldn't be Christians in the first place for the bible already told us clearly that we were to take up our cross to follow Him. Cross is painful!
And moving on, I like this line "Let the dead bury the dead". The first time I read it I glanced through it, but the next time I did, with a John Piper book in hand, it opened new insights for me. Apparently the 1st dead is the spritually dead and the 2nd is the physically dead. So what Jesus meant was, let those spiritually blind bury the dead relatives, you come and proclaim the Kingdom, I think my parents would be MAD if I ever did that. But I guess it's a dilema that we all have to face. And Jesus puts it clearly, that He comes first. His kingdom comes first for "No one puts his hand onto the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God"
It seemed to me that God is saying, do MY work first. And He will take care of the rest. I mean I still cannot get away the nagging feeling that I should "abandon" my non-Christian friends to proclaim the kingdom of God. I mean He is a compassionate God as well right? Well I guess if He is a compassionate God then perhaps, I should do His will and He willdo the rest? I will need to chew on this.
"The harvest is plentiful, but the labourers are few"
Is that a confirmation for a trip to KK?
Wait. Now that I think of it, maybe that's what God is trying to say. Go for KK, leave mum to me.
Hmm. I will pray about and wait for more revelations.
--
Recently the Psalms have been going on some of the same themes. This one is a very clear distinction. The Psalmist is lamenting about how they are so many enemies around him and God didn't seem to do anything. But in the second half of the Psalms, he recalled the things that God has done, the things that He promised and found reassurances in them.
I guess, the moral is that, God may not rescue us NOW but He will rescue us becuase He had rescued us all along and promised that He would rescue us. Our job was just to sit there and worship Him and stop limiting to what He can do. Who are we? Are we greater than God> If we aren't then I guess we have no right to control Him at all.
Faith, indeed, is believing without seeing. But there is always the promise of God that can hold on to =)
--
As a sidenote, I think God is building quite a bit of my head knowledge recently. I have always been an emotional kid, I think God is trying to nail some facts into my head recently so that next time, whatever happens, I would be able to em, use them instead of my feelings.
--
Was out with the KK kids for dinner. They were WUNDERFUL. Thinking of joining them for Chalet next week, but I need to see how my schedule runs. I don't think I can stay overnight either. But I will pray about it and see how the thing goes.
Anyhows, had a new chat with Gareth last night as well. Shared some stuff abt our lives =)
--
Innocence
12:38 PM
