Monday, April 23, 2007
"Next time, whenever you are lost, don't run around. Stay put and I will look for you. I can't find you if you keep running about."
Stay. Stay put. Until Grace Amazing takes you home.
Innocence
11:03 PM
Oh how many times have I broken Your heart
But I am so unworthy. So many things that I know i shouldn't be doing, but I am still doing them, I make the same mistakes over and over again. I promised to not be agiated over the same stuff, not to be emotional about other things and to know God loves me and promised that I was never going to leave Him nor forsake Him just as He had promised me.
And guess what?
I broke all my promises.
Just today. I went into some screaming frenzy with my classmates in the morning. Just the other day I was so worked up my results which spelled ABCDD which ranks me at least the top 30%, maybe 20% of the cohort. And another few days back, I was still running away from God, convinced that God is not real anymore.
But still You forgive
If only I ask
But I really shouldn't be forgiven. Really shouldn't. It's not like I am improving or something, I constantly fall into the same traps that sometimes I am sick of it myself. I so not deserve it. I succumb to the same few voices, the same few sins, the same few…
Grace.
What is grace.
Grace amazing that brings you home when you bruised and wounded after getting into ridiculous fights everytime. Grace that says, no matter how many you broken my heart, no matter how many times you run away from me, no matter how far you run, no matter how many times you forsake me, no matter what spits you throw at me, what whips you hit at me, I will forgive you. More than just forgive you, I will treat you as though nothing ever happened, I will treat you as though you were still white as snow and I will give you double portion of the intended blessings,
But Father, I really don't deserve the angels you sent to guide me in my lives, I don't deserve the favour you gave and even granted me in my class, I don't deserve to be the class cell leader, I don't deserve to be serving back in CF, I don't even deserve my grades, don't deserve all the blessed things you have done in my life.
Father, you know I screwed up big time.
Grace, my child.
Grace.
But Father...
Grace. Father's Grace. No matter how much trouble you got yourself into, the moment you intend to turn back to home, you will be treated as though you were clean without blemish, as though nothing has happened before. As though all was well once again. I will not punish you for you misdoings, I love you too much to do so. All I can do is to continue to love you, as though nothing had happened.
Grace.
Today I learnt. I learnt the extent of the Father's grace. It is as wide, and as deep as His love for us, it's why I come back to Him crying. So unbelievable, yet so true. Someone that can overlook ALL that you have done, and love you as though nothing has happened before.
Grace.
It's really beyond my human comprehension.
How could one be as forgiving as this?
I will live to love You
I will live to bring You praise
I will live a child in awe of You
Innocence
10:55 PM
Sunday, April 22, 2007
some literature for your minds =)
BEAUTIFUL SNOW
Oh, the snow, the beautiful snow,
Filling the sky and earth below,
Over the housetops, over the street,
Over the heads of people you meet;
Dancing — Flirting — Skimming along
Beautiful snow! It can do no wrong;
Flying to kiss a fair lady's cheek,
Clinging to lips in frolicksome freak;
Beautiful snow from Heaven above,
Pure as an angel, gentle as love!
Oh! the snow, the beautiful snow,
How the flakes gather and laugh as they go
Whirling about in maddening fun;
Chasing — Laughing — Hurrying by,
It lights on the face and it sparkles the eye;
And the dogs with a bark and a bound
Snap at the crystals as they eddy around;
The town is alive, and its heart is aglow,
To welcome the coming of beautiful snow!
How wild the crowd goes swaying along,
Hailing each other with humor and song;
How the gay sleighs like meteors flash by,
Bright for a moment, then lost to the eye;
Ringing — Swinging — Dashing they go,
Over the crest of the beautiful snow;
Snow so pure when it falls from the sky,
As to make one regret to see it lie
To be trampled and tracked by thousands of feet
Till it blends with the filth in the horrible street.
Once I was pure as the snow, but I fell,
Fell like the snow flakes from Heaven to Hell;
Fell to be trampled as filth in the street,
Fell to be scoffed, to be spit on and beat;
Pleading — Cursing — Dreading to die,
Selling my soul to whoever would buy;
Dealing in shame for a morsel of bread,
Hating the living and fearing the dead,
Merciful God! have I fallen so low!
And yet I was once like the beautiful snow.
Once I was fair as the beautiful snow,
With an eye like a crystal, a heart like its glow;
Once I was loved for my innocent grace —
Flattered and sought for the charms of my face!
Fathers — Mothers — Sisters — all,
God and myself I have lost by my fall;
The veriest wretch that goes shivering by,
Will make a wide sweep lest I wander too nigh,
For all that is on or above me I know,
There is nothing so pure as the beautiful snow.
How strange it should be that this beautiful snow
Should fall on a sinner with nowhere to go!
How strange it should be when the night comes again
If the snow and the ice struck my desperate brain!
Fainting — Freezing — Dying — alone,
Too wicked for prayer, too weak for a moan
To be heard in the streets of the crazy town,
Gone mad in the joy of snow coming down;
To be and to die in my terrible woe,
With a bed and a shroud of the beautiful snow.
Helpless and foul as the trampled snow,
Sinner, despair not! Christ stoopeth low
To rescue the soul that is lost in sin,
And raise it to life and enjoyment again.
Groaning — Bleeding — Dying — for thee,
The Crucified One hung on the cursed tree!
His accents of mercy fall soft on thine ear,
"Is there mercy for me? Will He heed my weak prayer?"
Oh God! in the stream that for sinners did flow
Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Innocence
11:12 PM
some literature for your minds =)
BEAUTIFUL SNOW
Oh, the snow, the beautiful snow,
Filling the sky and earth below,
Over the housetops, over the street,
Over the heads of people you meet;
Dancing — Flirting — Skimming along
Beautiful snow! It can do no wrong;
Flying to kiss a fair lady's cheek,
Clinging to lips in frolicksome freak;
Beautiful snow from Heaven above,
Pure as an angel, gentle as love!
Oh! the snow, the beautiful snow,
How the flakes gather and laugh as they go
Whirling about in maddening fun;
Chasing — Laughing — Hurrying by,
It lights on the face and it sparkles the eye;
And the dogs with a bark and a bound
Snap at the crystals as they eddy around;
The town is alive, and its heart is aglow,
To welcome the coming of beautiful snow!
How wild the crowd goes swaying along,
Hailing each other with humor and song;
How the gay sleighs like meteors flash by,
Bright for a moment, then lost to the eye;
Ringing — Swinging — Dashing they go,
Over the crest of the beautiful snow;
Snow so pure when it falls from the sky,
As to make one regret to see it lie
To be trampled and tracked by thousands of feet
Till it blends with the filth in the horrible street.
Once I was pure as the snow, but I fell,
Fell like the snow flakes from Heaven to Hell;
Fell to be trampled as filth in the street,
Fell to be scoffed, to be spit on and beat;
Pleading — Cursing — Dreading to die,
Selling my soul to whoever would buy;
Dealing in shame for a morsel of bread,
Hating the living and fearing the dead,
Merciful God! have I fallen so low!
And yet I was once like the beautiful snow.
Once I was fair as the beautiful snow,
With an eye like a crystal, a heart like its glow;
Once I was loved for my innocent grace —
Flattered and sought for the charms of my face!
Fathers — Mothers — Sisters — all,
God and myself I have lost by my fall;
The veriest wretch that goes shivering by,
Will make a wide sweep lest I wander too nigh,
For all that is on or above me I know,
There is nothing so pure as the beautiful snow.
How strange it should be that this beautiful snow
Should fall on a sinner with nowhere to go!
How strange it should be when the night comes again
If the snow and the ice struck my desperate brain!
Fainting — Freezing — Dying — alone,
Too wicked for prayer, too weak for a moan
To be heard in the streets of the crazy town,
Gone mad in the joy of snow coming down;
To be and to die in my terrible woe,
With a bed and a shroud of the beautiful snow.
Helpless and foul as the trampled snow,
Sinner, despair not! Christ stoopeth low
To rescue the soul that is lost in sin,
And raise it to life and enjoyment again.
Groaning — Bleeding — Dying — for thee,
The Crucified One hung on the cursed tree!
His accents of mercy fall soft on thine ear,
"Is there mercy for me? Will He heed my weak prayer?"
Oh God! in the stream that for sinners did flow
Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Innocence
11:12 PM
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Found another file. Doubt I posted this either =)
From: Mere Christianity - CS Lewis
"Pride is spiritual cancer"
"Do not waste time bothering you 'love' your neighbour, act as if you did"
"Don't sit and try to manufacture feelings. Ask yourself 'If I were sure that I loved Jesus, what would I do?' When you found the answer, go and do it"
"Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in, aim for earth and you get neither"
"The battle is between faith and reason on on side and emotion and imagination on the other"
"Now, faith, in the sense which I am using the word, is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, in spite of your changing moods"
"No man knows how bad he is until he has tried very hard to be good"
"Not doing these things in order to be saved but because He has begun to save you"
"If what you call 'faith' in Christ does not involve taking the slightest notice of what He says, then it is not faith at all - not faith or trust in HIm, but only intellectual acceptance of some theory about Him"
These are two classics that ACJC always uses and talks about. The first is actually imprinted on the wall of one off the blocks of the school building and every ACSian has probably heard about it, and the next is found again and again in last's year's graduate service, this year's dedication service and they had always spoke to my heart. I hope it would speak to yours too :)
01
The past we inherit
The present we create
For those who hope, work and play (I am hoping that I din memorize this wrongly)
The best is yet to be
02
And I said to the man
Who stood at the gate of the year
"Give me a light
That I may thread safely into the unknown"
And He replied
"Go out into the darkness
And put your hand in the hand of God
That shall be to you better than light
And safer than the known way"
Innocence
4:25 PM
I don't remember posting this up, but was sorting my files and I found this =)
I found myself asking God, so what is peace and what is joy. God gave me very simple answers. Joy is satisfaction. Peace is security. Perhaps the bigger question would be to elaborate on these. Well, since I am on it, might as well do a quick one.
Joy is satisfaction, satisfaction in Christ. How to be satisfied in Christ? One may ask. I believe the first would be to remember how unworthy we are in the first place, how what we are currently given is by provision of grace and it is really more than we deserve. In Scriptures it is said that all have sinned and fallen short of His glory and if we would to really examine our lives in accordance to the 10 commandments, we really do not make the mark. But Jesus came along and redeemed us all, by His death, instead of physically forcing ourselves to follow the laws, we have the Spirit within us that would prompt us and guide us along the way.
And with that, there is even more to give thanks for, more to find ourselves unworhthy of. If what was written just now was too "abstract" , maybe a list of worldly things could help.
1. I don't deserve my grades nor brains that I am really proud of. First, God gave me those brains and for the times that I have happily used my intellect to do bad things (eg fabricate a good lie) or decide that I (my brains) were better than God's wisdom, God would have simply took away His gift for me, after all, all is in His hands. But He did not. He continued to let me boast around (while quietly looking at me), to drop ungodly things with it. I am feeling guilty about it. But this guilt just makes me how thankful that God loves me and that I should more than happy with my grades, henceforth joyful.
2. I really don't like so and so. I am so irritated abt such and such. That sounds pretty much like me, especially recently. So, what right do I have to complain in the first place? Afterall I should have gotten worse treatment, I should be thankful that God was gracious enough to not let little sinful me get more fustration and irritations, I pretty much deserved hell for all the things I did, and I am still on earth and still enjoying gOd, so what ion earth do I have to complain for?
And there is this part about peace. Very simply put, peace is knowing that all's well. Why do we panic? Why do we stress? Why do we get worked up? Because we think that we are NOT going to make it and so we decide that to make it, we need to put in extra effort and do it, we need to speed up before we lose out. With peace in God, we know that 1.It's not abt us making it. God has already planned whether we can make it or not anyway, it's abt fulfilling His will. 2. Peace is knowing that GOd has a plan to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us hope and future. It is to know that we can lose this one worldly thing but God will never shortchange us. He will provide us with all that we need. Sometimes, thinking back, which prayers that we have prayed for have not been answered? Very very few. And the very few are those that answers would come sooner. Sometimes, we just have to stop and remember that what we feel is important might just not be really important to God. And then the question comes, so it's my priorities or God's priorities then? I guess the answer is pretty obvious.
And then after this peace and joy issue, I asked God about life. We all know that we should live our lives for God, for the eternity above and etc. But really, the fact doesn't help in real life. I told God I felt that there's a missing link. And He began to reveal it to me in bits and pieces. One thing he revealed was that of shaping and molding. When we have our perspectives on the future, we know that whatever we are going through now is a matter of shaping us up for the future, to better equip us for challenges ahead.It is not about the here and now results that we see now, but it's more about the learning process that leads to eternity.
And when I opened my devotions book, there's something else abt life. Exodus 33. He said, "You can have everything you want, but you will not have me" I was instantly placed with an option. To embrace the world and have everything (looks, money..) and lose God? Or would I choose to get rid of the former and embrace the latter instead? And when I say latter, why? The moment I proclaimed that I would choose God, He showed me why. The world can give you everything of the flesh and you can never be satisfied, but God gives you spiritual food. The thing that we were created for, the thing that our soul yearns for. I was also reminded of the devil's temptation of Jesus.
"If you were the son of God, turn this stone to bread"
"Man shall not live on bread alone but on the Word of the Lord"
I could hear it in contemporary terms.
"If God really that good, then He will give you all the money, the popularity, the looks, the life..."
"You can't live on the worldly things. They will never satisfy, only the Lord will"
Then I probed somemore, I said what about me? What does God want me to do? Well He did not say anything explict but all I could feel was,
At the end of the day,
What matters?
When all things fade away,
What will not?
It is about,
touching souls
changing lives
things that have an everlasting impact
just like Him.
Innocence
4:16 PM
Friday, April 13, 2007
When I was a kid, I cried.
But I am forced to stop crying. Crying just made things worse, just made her scold me more.
"Mum, can you come down to the family clinic? I am like there and broke. I kind of need someone to pay for my bills" "YOU SMART GIRL! NO MONEY STILL DARE TO SEE DOCTOR!" "But mum.. I have been puking like 5 times since the morning." Jessie lies down, half unconscious. "GET UP! GET UP! STOP LYING IN THE TOLIET!" "Mum, I am feeling horrible" (in a whisper) "GET UP! DON'T SLEEP HERE! STOP LYING AROUND AND STAND UP! I CAN'T CARRY YOU! SO GET UP NOW" "You are NORMAL, you aren't good. Stop thinking you are good, stop PRETENDING you are good. You are NOT good.""You think your results THAT GOOD? You will NEVER qualify for scholarship. You aren't GOOD enough, you are NEVER good enough. Quit pretending" "All you do is do harm" "Since you look down on me, why you must beg me" "So good, get out la! CHEAP!" "Bitch" "Shameless""Doomed to be a failure""No integrity, no morals, untrustworthy, USELESS" "You are to be blamed" "I am better than you" "Unworthy" "I bet you will come back BEGGING for me, you useless bum, if you were really good enough, get out and PROVE it" "Go, go be a prostitute, just don't come back pregant""How am I suppose to know how many guys you went around sleeping with? I am not going to pay for your abortion fees you know" Now I cry. It still exacerbates the screaming.
But I can't control them anymore. They come too fast and they take too much strength stop them from coming.
"CHEAP""PROVE IT IF YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH, I AM WAITING" Suddenly I am all deaf.
Only to hear my own heart shattering.
Innocence
12:41 AM
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
More lyrics. I realize that I am great lyric adder. =) But well, who cares, it's MY blog ;)
I behold your power and glory
Bring an offering,
Come before You
Worship You Lord
In the beauty of Your holiness
Whenever I call You're there
Redeemer and friend
Cherished beyond all words
This love never ends
Morning by morning,
Your mercy awakens my soul
I lift up my eyes to see
The wonders of heaven
Opening over me
Your goodness abounds
You've taken my breath away,
With Your irresistible love
Blessed Be Your Name - Matt Redman
have i posted this before? this song really guided me through last week on monday and tuesday where well, i just felt so scared.
Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name
It's breathtaking to think of you
And to learn that sometimes the only way out is through
It's mindnumbing to think of yesterday,
I'd run to you now if I could but things have changed
[Chorus:]
(I heard you say) it's enlightening
To think of the breeze
To believe in things that we can't see
(so here we go) let's show them how to live
Accept the pain
Always forgive
Watch the sun go down
Learn the sound of following all that is complete
It's breathtaking to think of you
And to learn without faith the sky isn't as blue.
It's mindnumbing to think of yesterday
We'll look toward the stars and dream that we're airplanes
[Chorus x2]
Let's show them how to live
Accept the pain.
Always forgive
Watch the sun go down
Learn the sound of following.
All that's complete.
Innocence
12:04 AM
Monday, April 09, 2007
I really shouldn't be doing this. I should be researching on err, earthquakes and the UN disaster relief schemes.
Just finished GP. But I really really missed typing and updating my blog. There is something special about all this to me, I can't put a finger to it, but oh well, it'special.For once on my blog, I shall NOT talk about God. I suddenly feel like coming back down to earth from all these theories for a while and look at myself.
I can't believe I am in love. I am still not convinced I am actually. But freaks. I don't think the guy likes me. And well, my friends are bewildered at my strange likings for biology and history.I was for a while until I realize what exactly it was that got me hooked. It's the study of systems, the understanding of the world around me and in me. I really like knowing what is going on. Just take chem and bio for that matter, chem fails to interest me as much as bio because chem is just facts facts and facts, it is only fun when you know how it links up. Just take proteins for that matter, when we learn about proteins in biology, we learn where they occur in the body. So fun! But in chem, we learn about all the linkages etc and I am like, who cares? Maybe I would have been more interested if you had told me like it links up like that and thus has thus property and thus able to functions like that. I am just a bio freak I know. Well, I don't take H3 Biology for nothing! The beauty of biology lies in the fact how processes link together. We learn about respiration, but biologist don't learn things as a solo, we link them together, how the sugars form can be used in bodily processes. The more you study, the more the picture seems clearer to you. It's like a journey of discovery, amazing journey. And the best part is, as you ink everything up, whatever you do seems to make sense. Why do we sneeze, why do we itch, why do we recover from sickness, all these just fascinate me like never before.
And there's history. It's torturous sometimes to read through all the articles, but it is so fascinating again why the world is like that now. As the news blabbers away about various events, it's just so good to understand the motivations and the history behind all these, it really helps me appreciate things around me. It makes me appreciate GP, current affairs. I really love how events link up to one another and how everything has a context.
My friend used to say how it's really hard to discover about yourself, but by chance, I think i found something new about myself today. An in bulid curiousity to make sense of things around me and putting things in context. I don't care about waves and electricity or chemical bonding for that matter. I like things that I can see and feel and things that allow me to link up. Facts are pointless, really. It's how it's applied that matters. I think I will keep that in mind when I choose my uni course. Biology and International Affairs are still appealing to me. But I am not all interested in Medicine or Law . I am just strange. But I prefer to follow my heart. I mean honestly, you can earn all the money in the world and then what? You are spirtually empty, you are chasing all the stuff that is uneternal, that doesn't bring you joy.
Leaving you guys with something that was shown on REW --> What is life? (Ha. Sounds like a Biology Question no?)
i am turning more girly recently. they used to say love changes a person. i hope i am not in love.
P.S: I think I am doing it in JH style =) I am sure she doesn't mind
Innocence
11:56 PM
Sunday, April 08, 2007
More backdated stuff
dated feb 21
found myself asking God, so what is peace and what is joy. God gave me very simple answers. Joy is satisfaction. Peace is security. Perhaps the bigger question would be to elaborate on these. Well, since I am on it, might as well do a quick one.
Joy is satisfaction, satisfaction in Christ. How to be satisfied in Christ? One may ask. I believe the first would be to remember how unworthy we are in the first place, how what we are currently given is by provision of grace and it is really more than we deserve. In Scriptures it is said that all have sinned and fallen short of His glory and if we would to really examine our lives in accordance to the 10 commandments, we really do not make the mark. But Jesus came along and redeemed us all, by His death, instead of physically forcing outselves to follow the laws, we have the Spriit within us that would prompt us and guide us along the way.
And with that, there is even more to give thanks for, more to find ourselves unworthy of. If what was written just now was too "abstract" , maybe a list of worldly things could help.
1. I don't deserve my grades nor brains that I am really proud of. First, God gave me those brains and for the times that I have happily used my intellect to do bad things (eg fabricate a good lie) or decide that I (my brains) were better than God's wisdom, God would have simply took away His gift for me, after all, all is in His hands. But He did not. He continued to let me boast around (while quietly looking at me), to dop ungodly things with it. I am feeling guilty about it. But this guilt just makes me how thankful that God loves me and that I should more than happy with my grades, henceforth joyful.
2. I really don't like so and so. I am so irritated abt such and such. That sounds pretty much like me, especially recently. So, what right do I have to complain in the first place? Afterall I should have gotten worse treatment, I should be thankful that God was gracious enough to not let little sinful me get more frustration and irritations, I pretty much deserved hell for all the things I did, and I am still on earth and still enjoying gOd, so what ion earth do I have to complain for?
And there is this part about peace. Very simply put, peace is knowing that all's well. Why do we panic? Why do we stress? Why do we get worked up? Because we think that we are NOT going to make it and so we decide that to make it, we need to put in extra effort and do it, we need to speed up before we lose out. With peace in God, we know that 1.It's not abt us making it. God has already planned whether we can make it or not anyway, it's abt fulfilling His will. 2. Peace is knowing that God has a plan to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us hope and future. It is to know that we can lose this one worldly thing but God will never shortchange us. He will provide us with all that we need. Sometimes, thinking back, which prayers that we have prayed for have not been answered? Very very few. And the very few are those that answers would come sooner. Sometimes, we just have to stop and remember that what we feel is important might just not be really important to God. And then the question comes, so it's my priorities or God's priorities then? I guess the answer is pretty obvious.
And then after this peace and joy issue, I asked God about life. We all know that we should live our lives for God, for the eternity above and etc. But really, the fact doesn't help in real life. I told God I felt that there's a missing link. ANd He began to reveal it to me in bits and pieces. One thing he revealled was that of shaping and molding. When we have our perspectives on the future, we know that whatever we are going through now is a matter of shaping us up for the future, to better equip us for challenges ahead.It is not about the here and now results that we see now, but it's more about the learning process that leads to eternity.
And when I opened my devotions book, there's something else about life. Exodus 33. He said, "You can have everything you want, but you will not have me" I was instantly placed with an option. To embrace the world and have everything (looks, money..) and lose God? Or would I choose to get rid of the former and embrace the latter instead? And when I say latter, why? The moment I proclaimed that I would choose God, He showed me why. The world can give you everything of the flesh and you can never be satisfied, but God gives you spiritual food. The thing that we were created for, the thing that our soul yearns for. I was also reminded of the devil's temptation of Jesus.
"If you were the son of God, turn this stone to bread"
"Man shall not live on bread alone but on the Word of the Lord"
I could hear it in contemporary terms.
"If God really that good, then He will give you all the money, the popularity, the looks, the life..."
"You can't live on the worldly things. They will never satisfy, only the Lord will"
Then I probed some more, I said what about me? What does God want me to do? Well He did not say anything explict but all I could feel was,
At the end of the day,
What matters?
When all things fade away,
What will not?
It is about,
touching souls
changing lives
things that have an everlasting impact
just like Him.
Innocence
7:32 PM
some back dated stuff that i wrote.
dated jan 6, 07.We all know that the greatest gift that God has given to us is the gift of His son. What is the second greatest gift He has gave us then? I believe it’s the gift of free will.
Imagine this, you mum prohibits you to leave house alone after 10pm, so she locks you inside the house. And being teenagers we complain that we are being robbed of our very precious human rights and we claim that mums just don’t understand. But behind the mind we know that it is for our safety that she has done it, she doesn’t want us to risk our lives by walking around at night.
What would Jesus do if He was my father?
I would not say I would be at all accurate, but I think He would try to explain to the teenager why going out at night isn’t really that good an idea. But if He finds His teenager sneaked out of the house, He wouldn’t explode in rage, but rather, I think, He would go out of the house and trail behind His child. And when something happens, He would appear and jump to the rescue.
Honestly speaking, if I were the parent of a child and I am a super overprotective mother, I would probably change the locks and make sure the child stays in. And even if the child asks me for permission, I would have said no and no and no again. But in my little story, Jesus actually allowed the child to get out. He did not put any extra artificial constraints (eg locks, gates), He left everything as it is and it was up to the child’s free will whether he or she wants to get out or not.
Even in our lives, that’s how Jesus works. From His Word we know what we should do and what we should not, but God, though all magnificent and all Almighty did not lock us out of temptation. He gave us the free will to choose whether to stay in His presence or go into temptation. Instead, He doesn’t stop us even when we chose out.
I wonder how sad Jesus must have felt when He finds out His child is stepping into temptation. He must be very sad. Maybe in His mind, He would have thought, maybe I should have locked him or her in. Then He remembered why He did not.
He loved the child too much to let him or her be robbed of free will.
He loved the child too much to let him or her fall into temptation of that free will.
He loved the child too much to cause Himself extra worry from the night trip.
Imagine. What if He had locked the child in? Wouldn’t He have a better time? No troubles, child definitely safe and sound and as a plus, He can spend more time with the child too.
But the child wants to do it. I love him/her too much to not let her.
This much love for her and you to suffer?
Yes. I heard Him say.
And then He follows the child around. I wonder how much pain He felt when He sees the child mixing with all the wrong people and doing all the things that would ultimately harm herself/himself. And He said he would just watch and not stop her although it’s a pathway to doom.
I did not want to rob her of her joy for now. I love her too much to do so.And we all know the ending, the child gets into trouble and then the Father appears again. He picks the child up as though nothing has happened, He carries him/her home, wash the child clean and places the ring of power on his/her finger.
I loved her too much to remember the pain she has caused me.Do you feel the love? The love that was willing to even let the child step into dangerous grounds for her happiness, the love that was willing to forget all the pain that the child has caused. The love that never fails.
How Deep The Father's Love For UsHow deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measureT
hat He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory
Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that left Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished
I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast inJesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
Innocence
7:31 PM
Sunday, April 01, 2007
When You Come Home - Mark Schultz
My first day of recess
They all laughed at me
When I fell off the swing set
And scraped up my knee
The nurse called my Momma
To say I'd be late,
And when she gave me the phone
I could hear Momma say
"I'm so sorry, son.
Oh I think you're' so brave"
And she was smilin when she said:
When you come home,
No matter how far,
Run through the door
And into my arms
It's where you are loved,
It's where you belong
And I will be here
When you come home
I waved good-bye through the window
As I boarded the plane,
My first job in Houston
Was waiting for me
I found a letter from Momma
Tucked in my coat
And as I flew down the runway
I smiled when she wrote:
I'll miss you, son,
You'll be so far away
But I'll be waiting for the day
When you come home
No matter how far,
Run through the door
And into my arms
It's where you are loved,
It's where you belong,
And I will be here
When you come home
Well, I don't think
She can hear you now,
The doctor told me
Your mother is fading,
It's best that you leave
So I whispered,
I love you
And then turned away.
But I stopped at the door
When I heard Momma say,
I love you, son,
But they're callin me away
Promise me before I go
When you come home,
No matter how far,
Run through the door
And into my arms;
It's where you are loved,
It's where you belong,
And I will be here
When you come home,
When you come home.
Innocence
3:48 PM
