Wednesday, May 31, 2006
This world we live in, is so confused
So many people, being abused
But God gave us people, to love and to cherish
To care and to share with, and to hold up in love
Can we give this love to others, like God gave to us
Are we willing to obey, and to do as he says
To love one another, just as He has done
To love one another, so we can be one
The needs of the heart, are so immense
So many dying, in need of friends
But deep in our hearts, a cry meets a calling
To keep one from falling
To show them the way
Innocence
4:28 PM
Monday, May 22, 2006
Emotions are sign of something that one holds tight to their hearts. Why do we feel happy over something? Because the thing matter to us greatly. And the same thing goes, why do we feel upset/uptight/grieved over something? Because we that matter was important to us. And an overdose of these emotions, which means exasperation, desperation, extreme grief etc means that there is something we have yet to give up to the Lord. Because we haven’t let go and give them up to God, it mattered to us which leads to emotions. And the most important thing is that, because it causes us so much emotions, the devil takes it and uses it against us. To me this is one of the most dangerous weapons that the devil has, because it slips in so quietly when people actually see the devil in us, it is already in one of the most “advanced stage”, the devil has already taken over most of us.
So my thoughts for now? If something particular is bugging you, give it up to God immediately. Tell God to help you to give up the control, the emotional linkage that you have with the thing. It’s going to be hard, I am still finding my way around, but I believe that God’s grace will see me through.
Today in itself, God also gave me another thought. It’s something about thinking positive. I had a hard time trying to get out of my pessimistic self and God brought me back into this little journey of how I got over it.
I started off pessimistic. What is pessimism? It’s not only thinking of the bad side of things, but rather the CHOICE of seeing the bad side. Some people might tell me : Where got people so stupid, see the bad side and make myself so unhappy? But unless you have been through this phase, you wouldn’t what it feels. For me, I chose to look on the negative side because I always thought good things will not happen to me. If I think on the good side, I end up being upset myself, because I will be badly disappointed.
And that was precisely what hindered me when I tried to “think like Jesus”. I couldn’t make myself believe that friends would spend so much effort on tjust raising me AND no have any complains. I knew things like this happened to other people, but me? I was cynical. And because I didn’t believe this fact in front of me, I put myself through unnecessary pain.
But one day, God told me, BELIEVE. And I tried, I began to start to believe that good things could happen to me. It was hard to begin with. I was upset because I had to minister to a friend and had to neglect my work I thought : I am so going to get scolded. But in the end I didn’t. God said : I sent you to do my work, I will thus not bring you to harm.
It is this confidence in the Lord that gives me hope, this optimism. Why would good things happen to me? Because God is in me. Because I believe that the heavens will have a way for me. And yes, faith is the foundation of Christianity. The presence of the Lord gives me this faith. Vague and abstract concept? Kind of. But you know what? This is the exact answer. Believe that it would happen. Why? Because our God is an almighty God and all things can be done. It’s scar. But the question is, do you dare to step into the unknown realm for our Lord?
Innocence
8:32 PM
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Has anyone ever wondered why do we have friends? The world has coloured our view so much that it seems that friendship is a 2 way thing. They are angels without wings that help us when we are in need and we would help them when they are in need? Perhaps it is just me, but it seems to sound as though we are helping the friend because that person has been for us first. Like, if the person hasn’t been nice to us in the first place, we won’t take the 1st step. So if someone doesn’t show the same kind of kindness we show to them, a friendship is broken. (Don’t say it doesn’t happen to you, who doesn’t expect a friend to take care of them when they are sick. This thought in itself already proves that ypu hold friendship at this value)
Now that’s all we thought about friendship.
It’s such a common idea that we don’t even feel that it is wrong. Friendship is NOT about all these. This is the world’s definition and Jesus did NOT define friendship this way.
Covenantal relationships are based on service. Jesus served us because we are His friend. He served us to the extent that He died on the cross for us. Did he need to do it? Obviously not. But he treated us friends, that’s why He did us such a great service. We should imiate Christ in this. We should serve our friends. We go that extra mile to serve them because we love them, and we know that they will benefit. And they are still our friends even though they might reject us and we continue to serve them. Look at Jesus’ ministry; did he not serve the exact people that rejected him? Did he treat them with any lesser love? No. Are they friends to Jesus? Yes.
And yes, true friendship is servanthood to the other day. It’s NOT two way. We don’t expect anything in return for serving our friends. It’s an expression from the Spirit to take care of someone else. God make us friends with someone else, so that we can be vessels that pour out blessings from Him to the other party, so that we would serve.
Always always, look to God and ask, What would Jesus do? That will answer all the doubts.
Innocence
10:00 PM
Monday, May 15, 2006
I found out that I tend to vent my frustrations at my close friends.
Then I reread my old blog entries. Then I realized why. Firstly, I expected my close friends to know I am fustrated and help me. And since they are my close friends, I expect them to help me the right way. (But hey, humans can’t be perfect, and they don’t share my brain, what did I expect?) And when they don’t (which is obviously not their fault) I get angry (which is silly of me)
Time to grow Jess..
And I shall continue my little journey of discovery.
Innocence
10:33 PM
Q: Why are we frustrated?
A: Things are not going according to our expectations
The problem with us is that we harbour expectations over every single thing we do, be it subconsciously or consciously. Take a simple example, in a project, we get frustrated because deadlines are not met. But the real reason why we are frustrated is because WE WANT deadlines met. The problem is not with the deadline, but ourselves, our desire to fulfill the deadline. The world has blurred our vision such that unimportant things become important, if we don’t care, we are the abnormal ones, so we must care. If we don’t care, we are either too carefree (thus facing the wrath of our fellow friends) or we will suffer some form of punishment (getting scolded for not handing work on the deadline).
But the truth is, do we need to care? In this polluted world, facts and lies have been weaven together so well, that sometimes we just get confused.
May I remind anyone who is reading this that, God already has a plan for us? No matter what happens, it is the best that could happen. Don’t we always want the best? Isn’t that where expectations build from? A desire to want the best? The ACS motto says the best is yet to be, but I beg to differ this time round though I am an ACsian. The best is already here. It’s already living in our hearts.
It’s the Lord Jesus Christ.
Are we God? Then why do we need everything in OUR plan? Did we forget that we are part of GOD’S plan?
Easy said, hard to be done.
Time to lay down all expectations at the cross once again.
Innocence
10:07 PM
Friday, May 12, 2006
You know why things hurt? Things hurt because you care about them.
You know why do you hate? You hate because you love them too much.
And if we run because we fear that it hurts, it's because we care too much.
Don't that sound just so ironic?
Sometimes when you look deep inside yourself, even the strongest one is bounded by the weakest emotions. There is no such thing as hatred in this world but rather it's a sign of protection of self, of a rush of emotions that one cannot define. When we look and think back, isn't it all just a manifestation of something that does not please us?
Innocence
10:12 PM
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Why is it that I feel so much better in the night?
Why is it hat it is only during the night that I truly feel burden free?
And why is that there is sudden dread of going to school once more?
Why do I even dread meeting my friends?
Are those smiles really that fake? Am I someone who is fake inside out or someone who lives by fooling others? Everyone would say I am not, but it is easier said than believed.
So many questions, so little answers.
Innocence
10:17 PM
Monday, May 01, 2006
What do we do when invisible screams of distress does not work?
What do we do when the last strand of faith has fallen?
What do we do when you feel the even the world has abandoned you?
What do we do when even the heavenly father has forsaken you?
Innocence
1:05 PM
