Saturday, October 27, 2007
I realized that there are some lyrics that I loved and have never posted them here before. So here goes two =)
Five for Fighting - SupermanI can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me
I’m more than a bird...i’m more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me
Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see
It may sound absurd...but don’t be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but won’t you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me
Up, up and away...away from me
It’s all right...you can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy...or anything...
I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
Men weren’t meant to ride
With clouds between their knees
I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
Inside of me
Inside me
Yeah, inside me
Inside of me
I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
I’m only a man
Looking for a dream
I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
And it’s not easy, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm...
Its not easy to be me
Howie Day - Collide
The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah
But I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find, you and I collide
I'm quiet, you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know
I'm always on your mind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
You somehow find, you and I collide
Don't stop here
I've lost my place
I'm close behind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find, you and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
Innocence
11:56 PM
Monday, October 22, 2007
Writing is addictive, I swear. I think it’s the rain too. It makes people think. Or makes ME think. Actually, on retrospect, I am always writing. When I was 13, I wrote fan fiction. I wrote stories because I just love imagining things and penning this imaginations down. By Secondary Three, all these had stopped. I guessed I told some form of author’s break. I was writing fan fictions here and there but my relationships outside of the computer was taking up a lot of my time. In J1 I took up writing again, but this time on insights that He gives me. In the midst of it all, I guess writing was and is still one of the tools I used to express my own emotions.
Why do we actually write? For me it’s always that spark of inspiration, it’s like the “Muse” that grips me and I just start pouring out all that is on my mind. It’s a temptation that I really cannot resist and even the notion of typing every single word out, the sound of the keyboards banging, the appearance of every single letter of the screen just captivates my soul. It’s like some form of movie where every frame just come together to form a perfect tapetry of meaning and flow.
I have to admit that sometimes my writings surprise me. When that spark of inspiration came, it feels as though it is not me writing anymore, it’s like some other being took over me. The words just flow, even the punctuation falls right into place. The next day when I re read what I wrote, I wonder who did such a wonderous piece of work. It really did not feel like me. When I write, like now, my mind becomes so clear. A friend once commented that some of my writings are so clear that anyone who reads it gets the meaning. But the state of clarity at the point of time was an unknown stranger to me. I have no idea how come my writings come across clear, I don’t go around but Ex and Ev and force myself into a structure of sorts. I just write. The structure just comes in. And I enjoy this whole short circuiting process, it made writing seem like magic.
Well I don’t think I can write professional or write a full fledged novel. For me, when the muse disappear, it disappear. When I have nothing to write means I have nothing to write, it is nearly impossible for me to squeeze something nice and creative when Mr (I choose make it a guy) “Muse” doesn’t visit me. Moreover, I doubt I have the patience to write 100+ pages of words. A short story collection maybe, but not a full fledge novel.
Speaking of novels, I cannot stand most novels recently. They all sound the same. Some examples include, a Hero saves the world (and the lady), a couple splits and gets back again, a teenage girl struggling with her teenage issues and there is always the S-E-X component in it. It is so prevalent that sometimes I wonder if man is so deprived of it that he has to seek it from books. But obviously, I know that the truth is the contrary. It’s so hard to find a novel that surprises me. Maybe that is why I am turning into non fiction nowadays, non fiction enlightens me. I feel as though I have learnt something. Moreover the correct non fiction books are thousand times more interesting that a teenage girl with multiple sex partners.
In conclusion (the conclusion is beginning to sound like a GP essay, catch the pun?), I love writing and and I guess I will always do. But I don’t believe in writing for people to see. I usually write for no audience in particular but if you stumble by, you are always welcome to read =)
Innocence
11:05 PM
I was telling Sarah that I should really continue writing before my flair flies away. You know, long periods of non-writing exercises really kills your language standards. So I guess I shall blog everyday just for the sake of making sure that what I feel can come out naturally and smoothly on 31.10.2007. That’s D Day for GP. I really want an A for GP. I think I can do it.
When I compare myself with the other GP powerhouse around me and wonder hy am I always a high C, I realised something in common that these powerhouses had. They were passionate. They believed in the causes they were writing about, they actually FEEL about the issue. It is really hard to explain to some of my friends about this. They claim that Jessie is good in GP because she has good language or Jessie is good in GP because she has a lot of evidence.
But really, it is not the main point of the subject. If pure evidence can suffice in a GP essay, I don’t think the paper should be called General Paper, it should be called CURRENT AFFAIRS instead and it should be tested in the biology format. What happened in Pakistan? What happened in UN? And it would be like another science subject which we memorise and regurgitate.
I am surprised it took me this long to find out the true essence of what General Paper is. It’s really about reacting to the world around us. It’s not a contest of who knows more but rather, a test of whether do we really care. As a history student taught by the ever-so-great Mr Ngoei, I am being well fed about the rules of the world. In colloquial terms it means, US owns the world, Nukes are the best, this world sucks. Well I have a lot to thank for sir for teaching us so much, EU CAP, Kashmir, IMF, WB etc etc but I realised I never reacted to these things. To me it’s always like, The IMF is bad to poor countries and this is how they do it. What do I feel about this actions? Am I really that consigned to fate? Or do I, like very other empathetic Singaporean out there, not care? It seems that to me, it’s all facts and facts.
What do I really feel? It’s pretty scary to know that after dealing with so much inequalities of the world, I actually do not feel any compulsion to do something about it. Perhaps it is because I am too happy in this developed world that these poor people’s suffering are just too distant to me.
Then how about like education? At least my friends actually hate the Singapore education system. Hate is an emotion. I feel like emotionless being, ask me about the education system and I will tell you that it has it’s good points and it’s bad points, it’s suited for some people and it’s not suited for others. Ask me how I feel about the education system then, then I will pause and probably tell you in an embarrassed tone that it is good and I think I do well in a education system like that. I don’t understand why I am embrassed .My conjecture is probably that because everyone around hate the Singapore education system and I will so unwilling to be on “the other side”
But frankly, what’s so bad about having an alternative opinion. It’s not like it would kill me or something. Conformity vers Liberity. Do we live in this world that is seemingly more liberated but we have put new conformities within ourselves? It seems that around me people are more interested in fitting the crowd than to really care about how they react within themselves. I think I have fallen into the trap too. I think I lost myself in the wealth of knowledge. The more I learn, the more stoned I get. The more emotionless I became.
I guess I have to use my heart and listen to my own voice more. I guess I have to really react to the issues around me, to grasp the concept of being part of this world.
Innocence
10:42 PM
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Saint Theresa's Prayer
May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God. Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.
Innocence
3:49 PM
Friday, October 05, 2007
Why do we press on?
Because we hope.
For hope is planted in the future
For hope stems from belief
And belief comes from
Stretching your hand into the darkness
And walking on unknown waters
It may turn out right
It may turn out not
But that is what life is.
Life without risks is not a life.
Life without failures is not life.
Life without tears is not a life
Life without failures is not a life.
For life is the the wonderful tapestry
Of tears and joy
Of victories and failures
Of highs and lows
It is the grief that makes joy more valuable
It is the failures that makes victories so sweet
It is the darkness that makes light so bright
And
It is in going down that we learn to go up
It is in losing that we learn how to treasure
It is in weakness that we learn how to be strong
It is in Him that I learn
Who I really am inside.
Innocence
12:33 AM
