Thursday, January 01, 2009
I got a strong feeling that either this post if trauncated or it would be super long. A lot thingds has happened and tehre is just so much to thank God and to blog about even in this new year that has just barely started. A brief summary before I go into the details. There is always first the RAYS Countdown last night which was more successful than I thought and all I could say was, it wasn't me, it was God. I literally saw God's fingerprints all over the event and I know that whatever that we had done was not good enough, but God himself was enough. And even at the watchnight service the message by Edmund was inspiring, the worship spoke to me and I find myself kneeling down and saying, God take all of me. And then there was QT today which again consolidate a lot of things that I have been thinking through the past few days and reminding myself how God himself is indeed the centre of it all.
Let's start with what God told me yesterday as watchnight service. I was and worshipping God when I could clearly heard God whisper to me this few verses. The ironic thing is that this is not the first time these verses came to me, if anyone would to dig back to the older entries he would find that this is prob the second time God used these verses.
John 21:15-19
When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?"
"Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."
Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?"
He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."
The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?"
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Feed my sheep.I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go."Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, "Follow me!"
I had always identified with Peter, the reckless disciple of Christ. No doubt that Peter loved God, but He did stupid things as well and perhaps, he would be well remembered for denying Christ three times. Well, I probably denied Christ more than three times in my entire life but as with the first time I came across this passage, God reminded me that, I could still be reinstated because God Himself still loved me and cared about me. But today, God gave me two other revelations from this passage. Firstly it is the phrase, "More than these". This, in line with Edmund's message yesterday, called for surrender. The question I found God asking me was, Do I love him more than my grades? Do I love Him more than my time? Do I love Him more than my friends, my relationships, my possessions, money etc etc. Basically in short, do I love Him more than LIFE? Do I love Him more than everything that I have now. It would be nice and easy to say that yes God I would give up all. But I am a a fallen human afterall. It's not easy to go to God and say, I love you more than money. It's okay if I don't have all the luxuries I have now (eg money to buy clothes) to follow you. But it is then that I come to the realization that this is what God demands of me, complete surrender. And while most bible scholars said that Jesus asked Peter the same question three times in reponse to the three times Peter denied Christ, I guess another hidden meaning to this is that, God is trying to ask him again and again, did I mean what I said. It stresses that it's not easy to love Christ. It's a path filled with rocks and obstacles and Christ Himself wants to ask me if I was sure of my decision given the risks. As a disclaimer, I am not saying that being a Christian is tough, God would always love us and take care of us etc. But the truth is, there is still a "hard" bit of Christianity and that cannot be ignored if we truly loved Christ. I felt as though God asking me, so, do i really love Him? There are consequences aswhat Jesus said, to indicate the kind off death that Peter would go through.
And my answer to God is simply this, I would follow you, but help me to overcome my human weakness and my stubborn grasping on certain stuff.
Innocence
7:24 PM
