Sunday, November 23, 2008
I am supposed to be mugging biodiversity. SUPPOSED. Until I got super inspired to blog so I decide I better do before the inpsiration fades away.
回忆不跟你走
都积在我心中
我就有责任让它值得被珍重
It takes time to forget a relationship isn't it. But maybe, the key to it it's not that I should forget, but since the memory is with me I have the responsibilty to uphold it and keep, to make sure that it remains a piece of uncorrupted memory, a part of me, shaping me to be who I will be in the future. Of course running away and pretending to forget is the easy way out (at least so it seems) But take it from me, it is easier to confront and reconcilate. Because reconcilation lasts a life time, running away just prolongs the time. And by the time you try to look back at yourself, you realize that what was meant to build you up had become a virus that scarred you for life. Things always happen for a reason. And the most important thing about things happening is whether we can get up from it. Afterall, things ALWAYS happen. But not everyone gets up. So the life skill here is how to face the problem and solve it and not how to run away from the problem coz, trust me it does no good.
I am firm believer of crying, grieving and being angry about what's happen. Psychologists do say that humans need to let out their emotions if not they become "bottles" and when they explode, it's hydrogen bomb scale already. But after the whole period of screaming and crying, that's when we need to stare at the problem in the face., figure out what went wrong and move on. Always, always appreciated that it happened. Not, WHY this happened to me? But rather, THANK YOU for letting this happening. No one grows in a bubble. You need to fall to get stronger.
谢谢你曾让我难过
Yes, thank you for making me tear, thank you for making me cry in anger. Because if I always am gonna be so immune to everything, I have lost what it truly means to be human. Everything has a flip side and because humans can sense joy and happiness, it is inevitable that they will sense sorrow as well. It's part of the human experience. A picture needs shades of grey and black to make it complete as well, and my sorrow and anger are the greys and blacks of my tapestry of life. I don't know how it is gonna turn out at the end, probably I would only know when He calls me home but what I do know is that, it will turn out beautiful because He loves me.
我眼泪都笑了
谁还想哭呢
再勇敢地站着
找回光和热
面对你的时候
我不会舍不得
因为你已是过客
因为路有些曲折
是美的
我眼泪都笑了
谁还会哭呢
来不及完美的
就唱首离歌
想起你的时候
我不是卑微的
然而我没有遗憾
因为我已爱过你
深深的
I am glad that I loved before and it was one of the best times in my entire life. I will never forget our dates, our conversations and how we both fell sick together (extremely memorable), but I will move on, holding on to a new piece of the puzzle of my life, to thank God that he had chosen you to give me this special little piece and to know that everytime I look back, I am not crying but I am smiling. Don't they always say that the guy who makes the girl cry is not worthy of her. So if I am gonna cry anymore, you are gonna be so unworthy of me then. *shakes head* Thank you =) For always being there. For being such a good and reliable friend above all else, to always remind me that true friendship is not a fairytale but a reality. Thank you for breaking away some of the ice in my heart (though I don't think you will ever realize how much you have done to my life, really). I wish you could find a girl really really worthy of your love and not use and exploit you. =)
And I look back at myself and I remembered stuff.
The girl that he fell in love with was not someone who will wallow in self pity and whine
She falls, but she rises in resiliance.
She's got some cuts here and there, but she will wait for those to heal.
But she moves on. Because she knows, the future is waiting for her.
She knows, the future's great.
And she smiles again.
Just like you said, if we were really meant to be, we will end up together once again anyway. But if it's not, I know there is always someone better, no?
Innocence
2:08 PM
