Saturday, June 02, 2007

I can’t believe I just lied. But then again, it is hard to lie the first time and when you have done your first, you can do it over and over again. It is just like a barrier that needed to be broken.

I am alright.
I am alright.
I am alright.
I don’t need any freaking sympathy or help from anybody.
I hate being depicted as being desperate for help.

So I will not be

Independent is my middle name. It has always been
I am determined.

It is alright to pretend and act. And when I believe what I am acting, then no one will suspect me. I had done it all my life. What makes me think I can’t do it again?

So Jess, pick up that smile and move! the more you act, the more you believe in it and it will become natural one day.

The tears don’t come anymore. My eyes are wet and I hide myself under a pillow, but the tears just don’t come. Next to March, June are the worst months of the year. Last June, I died. This June I am dead again. Maybe this time I will never wake up again.

Vampires are dead but alive.

I am an vampire too. Dead but sustained by sheer pretence. Pretence is like human blood, if you never tasted it before, you will never crave for it. But once you tried it, you realize it sustains your hunger like never before and you get addicted to it. As human blood will sustain a vampire’s already dead body, pretence will sustain my dead soul.

Innocence
5:17 PM

Saturday, June 02, 2007

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