Monday, April 23, 2007

Oh how many times have I broken Your heart

But I am so unworthy. So many things that I know i shouldn't be doing, but I am still doing them, I make the same mistakes over and over again. I promised to not be agiated over the same stuff, not to be emotional about other things and to know God loves me and promised that I was never going to leave Him nor forsake Him just as He had promised me.

And guess what?

I broke all my promises.

Just today. I went into some screaming frenzy with my classmates in the morning. Just the other day I was so worked up my results which spelled ABCDD which ranks me at least the top 30%, maybe 20% of the cohort. And another few days back, I was still running away from God, convinced that God is not real anymore.

But still You forgive

If only I ask

But I really shouldn't be forgiven. Really shouldn't. It's not like I am improving or something, I constantly fall into the same traps that sometimes I am sick of it myself. I so not deserve it. I succumb to the same few voices, the same few sins, the same few…

Grace.

What is grace.

Grace amazing that brings you home when you bruised and wounded after getting into ridiculous fights everytime. Grace that says, no matter how many you broken my heart, no matter how many times you run away from me, no matter how far you run, no matter how many times you forsake me, no matter what spits you throw at me, what whips you hit at me, I will forgive you. More than just forgive you, I will treat you as though nothing ever happened, I will treat you as though you were still white as snow and I will give you double portion of the intended blessings,

But Father, I really don't deserve the angels you sent to guide me in my lives, I don't deserve the favour you gave and even granted me in my class, I don't deserve to be the class cell leader, I don't deserve to be serving back in CF, I don't even deserve my grades, don't deserve all the blessed things you have done in my life.

Father, you know I screwed up big time.

Grace, my child.

Grace.

But Father...

Grace. Father's Grace. No matter how much trouble you got yourself into, the moment you intend to turn back to home, you will be treated as though you were clean without blemish, as though nothing has happened before. As though all was well once again. I will not punish you for you misdoings, I love you too much to do so. All I can do is to continue to love you, as though nothing had happened.

Grace.

Today I learnt. I learnt the extent of the Father's grace. It is as wide, and as deep as His love for us, it's why I come back to Him crying. So unbelievable, yet so true. Someone that can overlook ALL that you have done, and love you as though nothing has happened before.

Grace.

It's really beyond my human comprehension.

How could one be as forgiving as this?

I will live to love You

I will live to bring You praise

I will live a child in awe of You

Innocence
10:55 PM

Monday, April 23, 2007

Profile

LOVES

Tagboard

Links

Archives

Credits.

Innocence