Wednesday, January 03, 2007
School began.
I am learning how to put God as a priority in everything, I need to, get my life back on track. During GP today, something somehow hit me, so what one earth do I live for. Then I realize something, everyone is created to need a purpose, ie. We cannot be headless chickens running around. If we can’t find a proper outlet, we find strange outlets. When I look at the people around me, I see real life examples. People running after other people’s acceptance, people running after computer games victories, people addicted to this and that, people whose eyes are just empty, without substance.
Then I looked at myself. What about me?
Then it is as though the Holy Spirit suddenly spoke to me and all of sudden I realized I really need Him. I need my purpose and I know in Him is my purpose, my eternal purpose. Time and again we humans wonder, so what’s so great about God’s plan. As a not very old Christian, the Christian life till now has been somewhat sheltered, living under this safeguard and love of the Christ, always comforted and loved. Then suddenly, I began to ask myself the question, Why do you live your life for Jesus Christ?
Now, a simple answer can do, like “Because He died for me”, “Because He loved me” but you know, it just doesn’t do, really. Whenever I say that I knew it from the buttom of my heart that I did not mean what I say. Don’t mistaken me, I am not saying that these words meant nothing to me but more like, when I say these words, I don’t exactly know the weight of it.
So, why do I live for Christ?
I don’t have the answer now. But I know something, at least for now, one of the main reasons why I am following after Him is because of the work He has done in my life. I cannot forget the fact that it’s not me that brought myself to these grounds. It is not through my own efforts that I actually could make friends, God opened doors for me, God changed my heart. Without God, I would probably be in some other JCs or even Poly, sulking my life away, having no friends, thinking that everyone hates me. If not for God, I wouldn’t have achieved this academic achievement, it’s not me being hardworking that got me there, it was God who opened my eyes, who granted me the wisdom. It’s not by my own efforts that I am actually being able to be joyful once again, to regain myself once again, to do what I like to do again and not conforming to other people’s standards.
Without God, I wouldn’t be here.
If that is so, then I guess for now, that’s why I should give my all back to God because He is really the only one that deserves my all.
Oh Lord, teach me how to live again. In Galatians it says, “I am crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me” And yes, this life is the real life.
As I type this, I have a few ideas what to type next time, but I guess they will have to wait, for now, it’s just a short snippet from day one of school.
Innocence
11:36 PM
