Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Peter disowned Jesus. And then he went back fishing,Suddenly it just all came back to me. Gulit. Shame. I was exactly like Peter. I have declared that Christ is Lord for many times. I surrendered my life to him time and again. I have proudly declared that I am a Chrisitan. Many people who knew me probably knows that I am a Christian. And I shared my testimony numerous times. I have led prayers, worships, shone for God.
Peter disowned Jesus.
So did I.
When I thought that Jesus was faraway from me I began cursing, I began giving in to temptations thinking that it all doesn’t matter. I began to rely on my strength thinking that afterall everything is pointless. And in any case since everything’s pretty alright without Jesus, it shall continue be that way. I don’t even feel the presence of God missing from my life anyway.
And I went back fishing.
I devoted my time to playing strange computer games, fixing my computer, downloading secular songs and having a lot of fulfillment listening to it, I decided that I should start photoshopping again since I have so much free time on my hands. I volunteered for a whole week for CIP, went out with my mum twice a week..
That sounds so much like my old life. Not that my old life was bad or anything, the things I am doing looks pretty good on the surface actually. (Fishing wasn’t bad, but we all know Peter fished because He was embarrassed to stay around) But I know something, it lacks God. It seriously lacks God. There was no worship. It was plain old empty me. Plain old empty joy, using strange ways to fill my time and looking good on the outside.
I was empty but no one knows it.
And Jesus came back looking for Peter. And the first thing he asked
“Friends, haven’t you any fish?””
And I remembered the line that He told Peter when He first accepted them as disciples. "Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." So have I got any fish? Obviously not. I may be doing things, but are they rewarding? Am I actually doing things that aren’t going to count to going to heaven anyway? And have I even found joy? Hope? Peace? Nothing. I have none of that. I have no fish at all. I seem to be pretentiously happy labouring for nothing.
I was trying to fish in a barren pond of the world. The pond has no fishes of hope, joy, peace, satisfaction, strength, it is just empty.
And Jesus said, “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some”
The pond that Jesus directs us to is filled with fishes, fishes of blessings, of hope, of beauty. In fact when we fish in the pond of Jesus, we will have so much so much fish that we can’t even lift out our nets. It’s like saying, my cup overflows.
And the moment our cup overflows, we know it. We know it is God. And when we know He is Jesus and we surrender all and swim towards Him, he already has a table prepared for us, with the fish that He provided us.
Jesus said, “ Bring some of the fish you have caught”And He says, use some of your fishes to serve me. Use some of the fishes that I have provided for you to serve me. Use the gifts I have given you and serve me. That’s what Jesus is saying.
And then He appeared to Peter again. When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?" "Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."
Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?" He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."
The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Feed my sheep. I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go." Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, "Follow me!" - John 21:15-19And Peter is reinstated by declaring his love thrice. Three times that he disowned Jesus. Three times that he declared his love for Him. And He said, the same thing that He said to him when He first called him to be His disciple,
“Follow me”
And I can hear God's voice saying
”Follow me”
And I love you Lord. And I declare it again, I love you Lord.
Innocence
1:24 PM
